Round 7 (Day 1) – 2 December 2022

Points table (as at Round 6)

A Grade Red (Cam) – 1st (38 points)

A Grade Blue (Campbell) – 8th (14 points)

B1 Red (Birdcage) – =2nd (25 points)

B1 Blue (Shomik) – = 4th (20 points)

B2 (Todd) –= 3rd (22 points)

C1 (Kapil) – =1st (28 points)

C2 Red (Indranil) – 5th (20 points)

C2 Blue (Rob) – = 1st (25 points)

C3 Red (Cameron) – 8th (12 points)

C3 Blue (Tarun) – = 4th (20 points)

C4 (Hiresh) – = 6th (20 points)

D1 Red (Diggers) – 4th (26 points)

D1 Blue (Arun) – = 7th (17 points)

D2 (Ross S) – 1st (34 points)


Match Reports – Round 7 (Day 1)

A1 Grade

WPHC Red (Cam) Vs Glenorie 6/240

Loyal readers, this will be short and brief today. This was the worst day of cricket we have had in a very long time. Glenorie – in last place – smacked us all around the park. We bowled well for most of the day, just had nothing to work with on a pitch that hadn’t had any water since 1988.


Jack Hando picked up two wickets, probably unlucky not to get a couple more. Krang chopped back and forward from pace to spin, spin to pace, snip snap snip snap snip snap – but he got a wicket. Wiley old fox Sav picked up two as well. Lichaaa bowled 21 overs 0/30, he was very calm as he continued to beat the bat over after over. Gandis and Horseface Preedy participation awards.


We were hoping to win outright now we are up against it to just win. Glenorie indicated that they would bat on next week. Yay. Our batsman will need to be strong next week.


Thank you to a bumper crowd that came and supported. Baz, Jes and Kaity, thanks.

WPHC Blue (Campbell) 138 Vs Kenthurst TBA

The extremely short boundaries and clear blue skies above Kenthurst Oval prompted Justin to note “If I could draw the perfect batting conditions, I’d draw this.” And he was right. The only place in the world better to bat would be Rawalpindi.

Unfortunately for the Blues, we batted most unlike the Bazball-inspired England and more like the England of the most recent Ashes. A procession of batsmen handing their wicket to the grateful Kenthurst bowlers on the most beautiful, hand-made silver platter.

Lowlights included Rohit caught down the leg side, Tanay shouldering arms to an off-stump delivery for the second week in a row and skipper Campbell trying to slog sweep a middle stump yorker to neighbouring Glenhaven. Christmas coming early for Kenthurst. They won’t need any more gifts come December 25.

Among this sea of hapless Neanderthals, Shaan stood tall. Like a Spartan warrior, the carcass of a slayed lion draped over his shoulder as he looked upon his simpleton teammates who were unable to complete basic tasks, hopelessly rubbing two sticks together trying to make fire and too scared to leave the cave.

Shaan made 71, more than half the team’s score. We cavemen, stunned by the exploits of this Herculean figure.

Some good bowling went unrewarded in the aforementioned perfect batting conditions. Tanay hit the T-spot with regularity, just as he does on any given Friday night. We can only hope some of Tanay’s aura has rubbed off on Captain Campbell, who had a big and fruitful Saturday night ahead.

B1 Grade

WPHC Blue (Shomik) 3/68 Vs Normanhurst-Warrawee 206

After a one-week hiatus from writing the weekly report, Shomik has enjoyed the spotlight of the weekly news, and I humbly take over from him.

It was the first game where we had a dressing room and pavilion to feel like a real test team. With Steve’s availability in question, the think tank started to discuss the unthinkable, BOWLING FIRST. However, murmurs around the ground had the other team wanting to bat first, so there was not too much trouble. The winning ways are following the boys; we won the toss and elected to field.

Not even 5 overs into the day, the ball looked like it had been hacked with nails and scissors. Along with a small section of the ground that seemed to magnetise the ball regardless of the bowling end and shoot it as fast as lightning in the bushes, Normanhurst had a strong opening stand of 68. The two looked solid, and the openers couldn’t break through. But on the stroke of drinks, a simple catch off Harsh’s bowling. 1-68. Shomik rallied the troops at drinks and made sure we knew that we were well in this contest, even with one wicket.

New batters gave us an edge, letting Steve and Shomik pick up scalps. 3-89. But as all good teams will do, they will bat time and let the ball do the talking; a new partnership steadied the ship, moving Normanhurst past 125. Some may not know that Amit has left us for the rest of this year (coming back in the new year), so Jaka has ideally replaced him for a new instalment of the SPIN KINGS. Jaka and I obliterated the middle order for a classy club cricket collapse. A dangerous looking 3-126 turned into 8-161.

With the damage done, Harsh and Steve took an old weathering ball and picked up the final two wickets, Normanhurst all out for 206 (51 overs).

A batting masterclass, the perfect summation of Preet’s innings to end the day. 17 overs to go, and Preet looked like scoring 200 runs then and there. Sagnik contributed with a fighting duck, but he apparently had the wrong bat. The peanut gallery had a lot to say as he walked back to the pavilion; Sagnik seemed to have a lot of excuses up his sleeve.

Make sure to un-fog your glasses and clean your screens because at the close of play, Preet was 60*, and the team was 3/68 after 17 overs. I look forward to the chase next week.

WPHC Red (Birdcage) Vs Sydney Lions 8/220

In not so surprising news, Billy Gaunt has lived up to his reputation and shittiest bloke at the Club (possibly on the face of the earth) by taking a girl on a golf date, forcing her to hire clubs because he wouldn’t let her use his own clubs and not paying for her round. Well done Bill, if you start acting like a member of society we will have little to no content for our match reports. Never change.

Okay now to the cricket.

After making cricket great again over the last fortnight we arrived at Glenhaven oval keen to rip through The Swahili Lions Despite having 10 men. Captain dickhead won the toss and elected to field and we duly let the good vibes roll early.

Cam ‘we still don’t know if he talks’ Northrop opened his account with a wicket in his second over whilst Nick ‘Adonis’ Starr took two early to have them 3/55 at drinks. The Swahili lions then dug in for a while, building a couple of partnerships in the middle session. This really annoyed Bobby K so he abused their umpires. This is becoming a common trend with Bob and we love it. Whilst we’re on the topic of abusing umpires we will jump forward to 5.58pm. Mikey ‘you don’t know the rules’ Fiedler filled in for us. With the expectation of bowling the last over he abused the umpires for not knowing the rules and trying to call the day early. Mikey didn’t bowl the last over and it went for 10 runs. Thanks Mikey we should have called it early.

Anyways we started to mount a comeback. Mathew ‘we love your mum’ Digby and Bobby ‘pie factory’ Knapman started turning them square to take 4 wickets in very quick time. Just kidding they bowled pies and somehow took wickets. Special mention goes to Bobby for taking the slowest, most unco wicket in the history of the club. (Source Ross Anderson).

We thought we were home and hosed but they number 9 and 10 rode their luck and we finished the day on 8/220ish. We will take the second new ball to Ross’s dismay and roll them in a couple overs next week.

Other Highlights

  • DJ garrets dickhead dad didn’t come (thank Christ)
  • Star man bowled 21 overs of pure heat just for the spinners to take all the wickets bowling pure shit
  • Mama digs made us sandwiches (best morning tea in the history of the club, Source Ross Anderson) and mikey Fiedler spat in her face
  • Ian Digby came and filled in for a while and took a great catch. Thanks Ian

B2 Grade

WPHC (Todd) 5/262 Vs Beecroft

We arrived at Cheltenham with the sun beaming down on a dry and freshly mowed outfield. The day and pitched just screamed ‘win the toss and bat.’ So, I’d walk out and call head, with the team waiting in anticipating no wanting to spend a day out in the field… and it would land on heads and we’d quite obviously chose to bat first.

Xander and Volc would form a new opening duo, with both looking good all before Xander got done by an underground ball which you’d expect on a Day 5 turf pitch. This would bring Willy to the crease, who would have to borrow my helmet as his wife hadn’t packed his in his kit for him. Willy and Volc formed a formidable 117 run stand together before Volc was run out on 74…. Surviving multiple LBW shouts where I’d have to explain that even though the ball was crashing into the stumps it did pitch a good foot outside leg or explain that yes it was hitting middle, but it was bat before leg before wicket. Willy would fall shortly after tea for 34… After his 3-hour long innings in my helmet I am now offering up my helmet to a good home… any takers?

Connor would join Willy after the departure of Volc and would play some aesthetically pleasing shots, before he unfortunately spooned one to mid-wicket for 24.

We were in a very strong position and Rick Turner (52*) and Jude Boyle (34*) would form an 80 odd run partnership to see us through to the end of the day… and I am very glad NNN is finished because we can add Rick’s cover drive reel to that Marnus and Smith and really let ourselves go…

But overall, it was a dominant day with the bat which saw us amass a total of 264, and gives the skipper 7 days to ponder whether we head back in for some quick runs next week or declare overnight… tbc…

Sunday game for C1 Grade 3rd & 10th December 2022

C1 Grade

WPHC (Kapil) 0/42 Vs Hornsby 192

This is the Sunday game for this 1st vs 2nd game at Montview Oval.

C2 Grade

WPHC Red (Indranil) 3/122 Vs Thornleigh 169

After last week’s unfortunate loss to Mount Colah, we were looking to bounce back against Beecroft.

Indy won the toss and we chose to field. We took a pretty early wicket but their other opening batter was smashing us around. It seemed like he got to the half century in 10 overs. Haseeb held down his end well, but this bat seemed superhuman. Up steps Ved.

As a fast bowler, I can confidently say that all spinners are lucky.

Every single one of them. In his first over, he got hit for two 4s. His 5th ball was the most delicious pie. It would make all other pies cry. He bowled it raw, but it went so high that it cooked on the way down. Their gun bat tried to get a taste, but it was an illusion. He somehow missed, and Indy took the bails off for a narrow stumping. Of course Ved will tell you that he drifted it 3 metres, and that it was a wrong-un doosra. All lies. But since all spinners are lucky, we should get him on next game Indy.

From there, it was cleaning up the rest more or less. I’m writing the next book in the Mr. Men series, and after today, I’ve decided to include Inam as Mr. Consistency, twin of Connor Hindmarch. 4 for 28 – great figures, well done Inam. Unlucky not to get his 5th. Unfortunately, Inam is going on break for a few rounds. I will change jobs, get married, and have children before he gets back.

The rest of the wickets were shared around equally. They got 169 off 33 overs. Big shout out to our youngster Ansh and Ved again for taking screamers.

We sent in Amrit and Ved to open the batting. Amrit got us off to a flyer, but got out for 16 soon after. But Ved stepped up again, delivering a crucial 60 for us with Haseeb holding down the other end. Not gonna say this was lucky  :).

Well played. But next innings, I need your calls to be so loud that Inam hears them while on holiday in Bangladesh. Haseeb was unlucky to get out for 14 after playing well against a bouncer barrage from their opening quicks. Unlucky with the bat and ball today, next round is your’s Haseeb. Cam and Tejas are in currently.

We are 3-122 after 28 overs. Should be a good battle next week, we cannot take anything for granted. But great setup for the win today, we should be proud of ourselves.

WPHC Blue (Rob) Vs Glenorie 7/201

The first day of round 7 between West Penno Blues and Glenorie started a little later than usual with the opposition skipper turning up shortly before 1pm. Losing the toss we were sent out into the field on a bumpy Les Shore No2.

The new ball moved plenty for our opening bowlers Ben and Rey, limiting the scoring opportunities. After the first spell Glenorie were 1/15 (13), with Benny taking the first wicket bowled while Rey bowled 7 consecutive maidens from the other end. The change of bowlers brought on Luke and Dan, not long after Dan sent the stumps flying to dismiss their other opener. Good bowling from Zia and Al brought in the next two wickets, Glenorie were now 4/72 off 29 overs.

A solid partnership from the opposition slowed the fall of wickets, made worse from difficult dropped catches and unfortunate edges going for runs. This 69 run partnership was broken by Benny as he sent the stumps cartwheeling, dismissing the captain for 83. With a score of 5/149 after 50, we felt in a strong position to take a few more wickets before the days end.

Some good bowling from Buzz and Zia brought in the last two wickets of the day, with catches to Aden and Al. After the 70 overs, Glenorie sit on 7/201. Overall a good days play made by bowling tight lines and being patient. A strong start next week will have us sitting nicely.

C3 Grade

WPHC Blue (Tarun) 4/207 Vs WPHC Red (Cameron)

Finally, the boys were back at the fortress, the hallowed turf of Geenway Park.

The day started off in traditional fashion for the Sheep Station Cup, with Captain Tarun wearing his blazer and tie for the toss. A few key bowling cartel members including Pat and myself were shocked and disappointed to find out we were batting first, missing out on our bowling profession due to our unavailability next week. Oh yeah Michael was also shocked at the decision as well (couldn’t really add him as a member of the bowling cartel as you require a bowling average of less than 100 to enter).

A few less eyes were on opening batsman Lachlan Edwards today as he only started on 0, compared to his starting score of 186* last week. However Lachlan still kept the scorers busy, consistently rotating the strike to batting partner munish who returned serve with a few quick singles of his own. However, Munish was unlucky to cop a decision that didn’t go his way as Shaq who usually never folds raised the finger to judge munish out lbw, much to his disappointment.

In came Jay Nanda who provided the perfect compliment to Lachlan by dispatching the ball to the boundary on multiple occasions and consistently rotating the strike. Jay and Lachlan headed to the break 1-48 off 20 overs with the game very much in the balance.

The pressure was relieved as Jay and Lach continued where they left off, upping the run rate and punishing the bowlers as Lach eventually raised the bat for his 50 and the partnership edged over 100. However it wasn’t without controversy The boys up in the pavilion all had mini heart attacks as my finger looked like it was going to be raised, however I was just signalling that the ball was going down leg.

After being dropped 3 times, Lachlan eventually fell due to a very sketchy run out (the first of what should have been many). Tarun walked out into the middle receiving a few encouraging words from 12th man Jamo who told him to – “bat time”, he only lasted 2 balls…..

Pete partnered Jay in the middle with batsman in next – Jack, scrambling to get his pads on as when the wicket fell he was still wearing his shorts and slides. Pete steadied the ship over the course of the next 20 minutes as Jay raised the bat for a well-deserved 50. However only a few overs later Pete channelled his inner Adam Gilchrist and walked, not even waiting for the umpires decision.

Jack walked out into the middle. What viewers didn’t realise is that this was about to be the best innings they have ever witnessed in their entire lives. Jack met Jay in the middle and kept the fielding team guessing with a few dodgy running calls early.

The connection between Jay and Jack was worse than Macca’s free wifi as they consistently stood next to each other in the middle of the wicket with the ball still in play. Jack was just looking to protect his average it seemed as he left Jay stranded on multiple occasions. A few fumbles from the fielding team spared Jay his wicket and Jack his dignity. Late in the day Jack was doing his best to remain 10* as Jay wanted the strike for the next over and called Jack for a quick convo in the middle.

They agreed to look for a single on the last ball of the over.

Jay smashed the ball straight to short mid-wicket and began to jog towards the middle where he met Jack, however with no words spoken, the boys used their telepathic connect to decide to return to their crease, opting out on the single.

Jay ended on 88* surviving the deadliest spell of the day, batting with Jack who ended on 12* off 56 which I would argue was more impressive?!?

The team ending on 4-207.

C4 Grade

WPHC (Hiresh) 139 Vs Glenorie 7/62

Playing at the Les Shore on a sunny hot afternoon, who more could we ask for.

After the back-to-back wins the boys were buzzing to get back into the groove. Unfortunately, the dreadful toss curse we seem to have still seems to hang around as we lose yet another toss and were told to bat. But not to worry as that’s exactly what we wanted and our opener Sparsh was in the mood to deal some damage and fully utilize the fast outfield, and he did not disappoint after coming up with a hard fought 62.

After a couple of cheap dismissals we came up with the total of 139, however we were more than ready to bring on the pace and put pressure onto Glenorie.

Our bowlers were definitely up for the challenge as we attacked the stumps from the very start, forcing them to play which got both our openers a wicket each by the time they reached 32 runs. But we knew that that was not enough that’s when we bought in Ratul to test the batsmen with his Shane Warne-esque deliveries, oh boy he did not disappoint with 2 wickets in his very first over without conceding a single run putting us back in the driving seat.

With the batsmen struggling to face spin we also bought on Meet to have a bowl who got us 2 more wickets towards the final moments of the day. With that and a great run out we ended the day limiting Glenorie to 62 with 7 wickets gone as we have eyes on next week where we hope to finish this game off quick.

D1 Grade

WPHC Red (Diggers) 7/302 Vs Kenthurst

The draw last match left us in 4th place on the ladder as we headed to Annangrove this match to play Kenthurst, a win vital to consolidating our position.

Diggers is out for week 2 so the reins for the match were given to Quan. He called correctly at the toss and had no hesitation in batting first.

Conditions were ideal for batting. Diggers and Quan made the most of it and saw us through to the first break with score on 53. Unfortunately Diggers was out for 28 not long after with the score on 69.

Grant Gerber then came to the crease. He and Quan put on 51 for the second wicket before Quan was out for 45. Ramil then joined Grant and made a quick 21, Grant bringing up his maiden 50 for the Club in that period.

A couple of smaller partnerships moved us through to 5/211 in the 65th over. Grant continued his charge to glory, joined by Mudi, filling in for us from C2. Grant converted his first 50 into his maiden century, the 507th century for WPHCCC.

Mudi made 28 and Grant finished unbeaten on 120 and the team 7/302.

A formidable total but needing to bowl well next Saturday to get the ten wickets needed.

WPHC Blue (Arun) 137 Vs St Ives-Wahroonga 1/35

90 odd balls, 42 runs with 1 boundary. They say morning shows the day and Arun’s knock basically prepped the team for some incredible bowling from the opponent.

Winning the toss and deciding to bat against a well proven St Ives attack this season, the skipper decided to push the brakes a little and play one of his most unnatural knocks, and boy did he hang in there. What we saw from the opponent was some strong, disciplined bowling and our top order failed to capitalise even after most of the batter getting starts.

Chintan Shah at number 5 tried his best to reset the innings with some heavy hitting for 29, all around George Christie playing field but did not have able support from the non-strikers and we finished at 137, a below par score considering how short the squares are on this ground. The key take away’s would be Arun’s temperament to hang in there and Chintan coming back to his form.

St. Ives went in to bat with 13 overs left in the day.

Amith Ninan finally agreed to open the bowling after spending 50+ years being the first change, so that is a positive, bowled their opener within the first 3 overs and happily strutted away off the field. St Ives finished the day at 1/35.

Big day next day to try and wrap them up and gain back some much-needed confidence.

D2 Grade

WPHC (Ross S) 8/307 dec Vs Kenthurst Upper Hills 2/10

1 (us) vs 2 (Kenthurst)….big game.

Sun was shining and the day was ideal for a good game of cricket. Plan was always to bat first if the opportunity presented itself. It was a miracle Ross won the toss. Trust me when I say it was a miracle as Ross hardly wins the toss. Lucky for us today was that day and things were lining up nicely for us. Ross and Ray walked into the middle planning to lay the foundation for a big score. Pitch was two paced and it was not easy to time the ball. Ross was middling the ball and played some nice shots before holing one out to the mid-on. It was a good catch to get Ross out. Luck that time was not on our Skipper’s side. Ross was out for 11. Ross and Ray did their job well, 31/1 and the next batter was up for the challenge.

Corey made his way to the wicket hoping for a big one.

Unfortunately, Corey was out first ball before Jake went into the middle to steady the ship. Ray was middling the ball very well today with a few going over the fence to put the opposition bowlers in the back foot. Jake hit his very first six thru mid-on before repeating again the following over. Jake was looking very good before he was out caught and bowled, scored 19 well-made runs.

Then it was Gihan’s chance to see what he could do to make the score even stronger. Gihan sent a few to the fence in quick succession. Ray was accumulating runs on the other end laying a very solid foundation for the team. Runs were not coming easily due to the ball not coming to the bat due to slowness of the pitch. Gihan was out for 21 when the score was 4/91 before Muthindra walked into the pitch batting at number 6.

Old age was catching up to him. Foggy glasses were bothering him but managed to connect one that sailed over mid-wicket for a six. A few singles later connected another that went over the fence. Ray and Muthindra added 44 before Ray was out for 57 runs. What an addition to the team, Ray again showed his class laying a good foundation for a decent total. Sach came to the wicket and played well, not providing any chances before the tea break.

After the tea break Muthindra was struggling to time the ball, ending up nicking one to the keeper. Muthindra was out for 21 and the score was 6/141.

Ram joined Sach and the fireworks were just starting. Sach and Ram put the foot down and they sent the ball flying over the fence every few balls. Ross decided to stay in the boundary to make sure we were not losing any balls. Ram was eying in another big score from the moment he walked into the crease. Sach was out for 27 runs and the score was 7/217. A partnership of 76 runs that came in no time. Mridul joined Ram to continue the onslaught. History was repeating itself again. Ram scored another brilliant century with 7 sixes and 8 fours – our 506th century. Score was 8/301 when Ram decided it was time to retire and let young Simon a chance to hit a few balls. Mridul and Ram put on an 84 run partnership. The innings was shaping up to be a good one for the team. Ross decided to declare just before Mirdul added a few more runs to get the final score to be 8/307.

Then came the chance to show Ram is a real all-rounder as the Kenthurst team started their innings.

Only handful of overs left for the day, Ram and Mridul started well and the runs were not coming for the opposition. Mirdul bowled a beauty to take the first wicket of the opposition innings. Ram was at the gully to take a low catch. Then it was Ram’s chance to up the ante and the middle stump of the second Kenthurst opener.

The day ended with 2/10 for Kenthurst, exactly as planned.

What a day of cricket filled with a lot of excitement. Bring on day two next week. Now the hardest thing to do is to wait for 7 more days before we can start chasing the leather again. The day belonged to Ram and Ray. The good news is the rest of us contributed to the final score making everyone a winner.