Semi Finals – 2nd March 2024

Match Reports

Competition – Semi Finals (Day 1)

(Saturday 2nd March 2024)


A1 Grade

WPHC (Cameron) Vs Hornsby Maroon 6/140

Hello loyal readers, not your usual match report with the devastating shoulder injury to your usual reporter leaving him OUT of the side.

We started the day by winning the toss and putting Berowra Griffin in on a green pitch with very overcast conditions.

Sav starting us off with the early wicket we were all hoping for. Griffin gone. It was at this point that there was great concern for our wellbeing from the opposing skipper, desperate to ensure we didn’t get full game time by complaining that WE were slipping too much. It’s a strange game.

We came off for lunch with the score around 1/60 and then struggled to return to play, staying off for a couple of hours. Does anyone know any Sri Lankan cricketers?? As a team we don’t, and it showed as we were STUMPED by Stumple 127.

We then got back on and went to work. Brilliant bowling from What’s Andy Done This Year Meikle, and Sav really tightened the screws, gandis performing his role as the new STRIKE bowler to perfection capitalising on that build up of pressure. Meiks then claiming his second wicket of the day, the prized wicket of the 14 year old wunderkind with a beautifully planned out Bunga, Tom Hando then struck twice in two balls and it was game on.

The day concluded with the same old Berowra tactics of doing everything possible to not play cricket. It is a strange thing for a team to just never want to play cricket, but that’s what we face heading into next week.

Play abandoned due to light despite a cover drive being played through the infield 2 balls earlier, score 6/140.

A2 Grade

WPHC (Campbell) 90 Vs Hornsby 1/2

There’s nothing like semi-finals energy.

Captain Campbell tried to keep a lid on things, not getting too carried away, respectfully asking everyone to be at the ground just 30 minutes prior to play.

Not a tough ask at all, you’d think everyone would be keen for a semi-final. Three members of the team were at the ground at said time. A new record high. Well done A2s.

A lush outfield and a lot of moisture in the air made for perfect bowling conditions.

We were on and off for weather a lot, this was annoying for two reasons.

Firstly, it allowed the opposition bowlers to rest and seeing as they only had 3 good ones, the 3 of them split the overs of the entire innings.

Secondly, covers.

Big covers, small covers, hessian covers. On. Off. On. Off. On. Off.

Although for a team used to playing at The Glade, Kenthurst’s hole-free covers that were all in one piece were a fun novelty.

Things were going ok at 2/61, Shaan made 26, Birdcage 20.

Things were not going ok at 6/70.

Google tells me there are multiple collective nouns for ducks.

A flock of ducks, a raft of ducks and a waddling of ducks are all acceptable.

We had 4 of them, which is a flocking lot of ducks.

Brent ended up our top scorer, managing to hit TWO boundaries on the lush surface in his knock of 30.

Deano took the 1 wicket in our 5 overs prior to stumps.

Brent was best on ground today, but it had nothing to do with his onfield performance.

Brent showed us a bit of athleticism we had no idea he was capable of and had never seen a hint of such nimbleness from the Lankmobile.

He heroically scaled the Kenthurst pavilion, getting on to the balcony so he could unlock it from the top, allowing the rest of the team to climb the stairs, watch the game from the balcony and stay dry without huddling under a tiny awning.

Thank you Brent, your finest contribution to the team so far.

B1 Grade

WPHC Blue (Todd) 9/133 Vs Glenorie

After last week’s heroics and another inspiring Jude Boyle essay on the team Whatsapp group on Friday night, we all had a little spring in our step as we had the daunting task of taking on a Glenorie side that had absolutely blitzed the B grade competition this year. A little fine tuning in the Les Shore nets before the game and we were all set to make a huge statement to the rest of the competition.

After winning pretty much every toss this year, Todd decided that today was a great day to lose the 50/50, Glenorie clearly shocked at the outcome and taking a good moment before sending us in for the first dig. Not the greatest start but we were still confident, each of the batters told explicitly to “focus on building partnerships”. All too often a tremendous collapse saw us avert our course from victory this year, and we were not keen to let it happen again today.

Two hours later we were 5-37. And it would’ve been a lot worse if it wasn’t for 2024’s Mr. Reliable Jude Boyle (or “Eamon”, as he was commonly mistaken for as a result of somehow picking his brother’s 2021 Armidale tour shirt out of the wardrobe – it’s a miracle it fits him, I didn’t think it was possible for others to have clothes small enough to fit Jude).

Forging partnerships of 30-odd with Sam and Jack, we were able to re-enter the contest and scrape over the hundred mark before Jude was dismissed for his second 43 in two games and his 155th score in the 40s over the past two years.

The going was slow with a wet ball against an accurate Glenorie bowling attack, but from six down at tea our tail wagged, Todd and Ben playing out the last half hour as we finished with a rather dismal 9-133.

Usually, I’d find something off field to slag off for the majority of these kind of match reports where we have had a less than successful day at the office, but with our serial prankster deciding to top score again instead of doing weird stuff on the sideline again, there’s not really much to talk about. Not even Ben, Dylan or Lachie decided to do anything particularly out of the ordinary today, so next week we’ll be expecting them to step it up a bit.

We go back at it again next week, maybe or maybe not seeing if we can add any more runs to our total before we try and bowl them out for less than whatever we end up with. It won’t be easy, but we didn’t take twenty wickets in four hours against Mount Colah last week for no reason.

A few early wickets and who knows? Maybe we’ll get to hear Rick Turner utter those famous words once again…

B2 Grade

WPHC (Warren) Vs Normanhurst-Warrawee 8/168

A Semi final berth at the home of cricket – this is why we play the game ladies and gentlemen.

All the standing around giving it an hour for the rain to pass just to inevitably call it a day anyways. All the standing around in 40 degree (feels like 47) degree heat developing melanoma at a rate of knots. All the getting fired lbw by someone who’s supposed to be your god damn mate despite hitting the ball, the ball pitching outside leg, hitting outside the line and missing the stumps at the same time.

All the being forced to spend 6 hours of your Saturday around 10 of the worst blokes in the world ie. your teammates. The drives up and down the M1 in bumper to bumper traffic just to get absolutely toweled by an over strength Berowra. All the weeks writing match reports at 6.42am on a Sunday morning because you were out in the disco biccies Saturday night and could barely recite the alphabet let alone write something cohesive. All the times you’ve nicked off for 4 and walked off the field muttering ‘I effing hate this effing sport’. This is why we do it ladies and gentlemen. This is why we play the game.

After a quick vibe check by Goods Vibe Incorporated COO Matthew Digby we confirmed what we all knew – the boys were locked in and the vibes were good.

We were ready to go. Captain and Club Diplomat Warren ‘let’s just cool it and play cricket’ Schwartzel decided he would like to win a toss this week and chucked us into field. So we gandered out onto the field in the rain to win a game of cricket despite only needing a draw to advance. Warren setting the tone early for what would be a hostile and feisty encounter.

Matthew ‘H’ Schwartzel and Nathaniel ‘Xbox live word’ Chidgey would set proceedings off with some marvellous seem bowling to open up. Both bowlers hit their areas and Normanhurst found it near impossible to advance the score. The boys were buzzing in the field despite Normanhurst square leg umpire trying to come in and kill the vibes. Unluckily for him we don’t let people with bad vibes into our circle so CEO of good vibes inc Ray Khamis very politely advised him to bugger off and continued with the very loud, consistent but in the spirit of the game chat.

One thing about cricket we love is that you’re always learning. No matter how long you’ve been playing you’re always learning new things about the game whether it be techniques or rules etc. over the last couple weeks the WPHCCCCCCC B2s have had some bizarre rules enforced against them :

    • you must not look the opposition player in the eye whilst encouraging your bowlers
    • you must not be within a 7m radius of the opposition batsmen when encouraging your bowlers.
    • you can’t bowl the same bowler from
    • Both ends
    • you cannot exceed a 20,000 word count for a days play. That is simply too much chatter.

Nonetheless we checked all these with Ross and Ross kindly advised we could tell the opposition umpire to jump off a cliff (source Ross Anderson) so that’s what we did.

In amongst all this a couple records got broken by Club legend, leading allrounder and goat master blaster of the club Ray Khamis :

  • fastest time for opposition umpire to say enough is enough with the chat – 2 overs (Source Ross Anderson)

Back to the cricket we got our early wicket we were hoping for and then the rain came which brought a fun little break whereby the boys got to hang out as a team of deep thinkers and discuss the nuances of the following topics:

  • the best web browser homepage (obviously Google chrome)
  • how many wives Imran Khan has had (a lot)
  • how much New Zealand suck at cricket (also a lot)
  • the best version of windows (hung jury with 7 and XP the front runners
  • how good a subway platter delivered to the ground would be (very good)
  • how old Ross Anderson actually is (we can trace him back 287 years through newspaper clippings but we still reckon he is older than that).

Back to the cricket we came out after the break and took 2 very quick wickets. At 3/not many we had Normanhurst in a very good position however their star batsmen was in and the ball had turned into a bar of dove soap. No movement. Slippery etc etc. It took Zac ‘Zazoo’ Turners magic golden arm to dismiss their best bat eventually.

Mathew ‘wristy’ Digby bowled an excellent spell without luck, Rob ‘pug scrub’ chipped in with a vital wicket despite getting smacked around a bit. Dan ‘h Schwartzel also got a vital wicket’.

The following players did sweet stuff all to contribute today:

  • -Adam Van Saarloossserrrr
  • Jason ‘I’m due’ Garrett
  • Ray Khamis
  • Nick ‘has something more important than playing semi finals on’ Duck
  • Anush ‘the troubleshooter’ Sharma

We took wickets consistently but on a small Greenway oval the runs did get away from us slightly.

Ultimately we will need to bat for 70 overs next week to progress to the finals. If we bat for that time we will most likely get the runs and come home with a win. We know as a team we are capable of batting great lengths of time and keeping the scoreboard ticking.

Although not the best result today we will move forward with confidence knowing we are the best team in the comp and can do what is required of us to make semi finals next week.

Other news:

  • Zac Turner = FAG (future a grader) (source Ross Anderson)
  • Mama digs hosting kick-ons after ground final weekend – address to follow soon.
  • Congratulates to Club power couple Adam Van Saarloos and Tori Campo on moving in together – unfortunately this is the beginning of the end for them but we are happy nonetheless

C1 Grade

WPHC (Indranil) 47 lost to Sydney Lions 6/57

Let’s start the report with the end.

There is a definite motivation going into week 2 with solid performance at the end of day.

For once let us not remind of the toss. We lost, we were asked to bat in windy difficult conditions. And surprisingly there was no interruption of play though the drizzle continued throughout the day. No complaints from either team or umpire.

We batted poorly. That’s it. Only 1 double digit scorer – Prashant Kumar 12. Well done, he was looking really good.

Fast forward, requiring to bowl just 28 overs in the day and defending 47 runs. It had to be a miracle to get us back into game.

Our savior of the day Aayush Kumar 8 overs 4 runs and 4 wickets. Well supported by fielders esp. Cam Bliss taking 2 x catches. We are back in the game and play on week 2 with the expectation of getting quick wickets, scoring fast runs and then get another 10 wickets.

A big call out to Rizul Gulati fill-in at the last hour for C1s, losing our juniors to Grade cricket. Such is life.

C2 Grade

WPHC Red (Arun) 128 Vs St Ives Wahroonga 1/9

What a way to reach the semi-finals despite all the challenges we faced. St Ives has the upper hand after winning the minor premiership. So, what? Red arrived at the ground confident that we would not let StIves defeat us without a fight.

Despite the rain, St Ives and Red began their game on time. St Ives won the toss and sent us in to bat, which was somewhat unexpected. Rishab and Saurabh opened the batting, although Rishab’s innings was brief. Then Vinod joined Saurabh bit the outcome was the same, as Vinod was out after facing only three balls. Saurabh, on the other hand, shown tenacity and caution in his innings. Harri took the pith and began forming a partnership with Saurabh. Saurabh, on the other hand, was dismissed after demonstrating some potential by picking a ball that played above mid-off. It did not turn out as he had hoped. Then John Koleth (Mazza) took to the pitch, determined to play a superb innings with Harri’s help. Oh yes, these two displayed some style and temperament on the pitch, leading the squad to a respectable score from 3/15.

Unfortunately, our trusty Harri chose a half-hearted shot with double mind and was caught at the short mid-off. Then Amitava went to pitch and began developing a partnership with Mazza. Mazza, on the other hand, was effortlessly controlling the game and demonstrating how easy it is to bat. Amitava was bowled out by a late swing delivery, and then pitch was taken by our show stopper today, “Brij”. Brij and Mazza were both putting in solid performances before Mazza was dismissed. Because of Mazza’s showdown on the pitch, every St.Ives player went to shake his hand. After that, Rommel and Happy went in and tried really hard but got out. Brij, on the other hand, kept his chin up and was prepared to meet any ball that came his way. Aniket partnered with Brij. And these two were so good at playing the ball that even the St Ives players were taken aback and asked Arun (who was umpiring) what hidden gem he was still hiding.

They didn’t expect the second-last partnership to have such an influence. Aniket hit a few nice shots before leaving. And Brij? He kept going. Brij and John Kurian then combined for the final wicket haul.

We had a large number of spectators come to observe our game after D1 was cancelled.

They were supporting Brij and Kurian in the same way that Kohli and Rohit are cheered up. Which always helps to boost the team’s morale. Brij eventually got out after demonstrating a strong dedication to his club. WPHCC Red concluded the innings with 128 runs, which is a defendable score against St Ives based on the stats.

Red went bowling and had to complete 10 overs to end the day. Amit and Vinod began their spells with relative ease. Vinod grabbed the St Ives captain’s wicket with a fantastic delivery in the twinkle of an eye. However, the entire ground watched Aniket’s catch of Vinod’s delivery. It was a world class catch at any level of cricket. Due to poor lighting and rain, both the teams concluded the day with four overs remaining. St. Ives is playing on 1/9.

Today’s cricket was quite positive overall.

Shoutout to Brij, Mazza, and Harri for their amazing batting performances, Vinod for his outstanding delivery, and Aniket for the world-class catch. Also, a big thanks to the D1 squad for coming to the field and assisting C2 with cheering and fielding.

One significant point to note is that Dean Thompson (St Ives’ finest bowler and possibly the tournament’s best bowler) informed Arun that WPHCC is the team they wanted to play in the final because of the way both teams compete against each other in the spirit of cricket.

They honestly believe we are a good bunch of guys.

C3 Grade

WPHC Red (Andrew) Vs Berowra 145

If there’s 2 things that are guaranteed during a semi final match they are 1) it will rain & 2) there will be a blow up Vs Berowra.

Both were true to form today.

The Skipper had some interesting texts from the team pre-game after deciding on the 12 players who would suit up early in the week. On Wednesday morning, 1st change bowler Shak pulls out of day 1 with some important soccer refereeing commitments. On Wednesday afternoon, opening bowler Jack declares he has likely broken his toe at futsal and could be out. On Thursday keeper Lachie declares he has an 80th birthday party on day 2 that just popped up. On Saturday at 11:30am, opening batter Munish declares he has a friend who had a family bereavement and needs to leave mid match see him. I was waiting for further calls about pull outs due to the preparing of the WPHC float at tonight’s Mardi Gras, so felt the better option was to turn off the phone for the rest of the day to avoid further carnage.

Thankfully we arranged Sachman from C4 to fill-in Day 1, which would give us the extra bowler we needed.

We won the toss, and being the 4th place team, were obliged to bowl first. In spite of the promising weather report, the heavens never allowed the ground to dry up, so we were left with a soggy pill throughout.

Jack hardened up after some staunch words mid-week perhaps from uncle Mat (something about concrete & f’ing spoons), and hobbled through his opening bowling spell with gusto. However it was Pat at the other end who made the early breakthrough. At the drinks break, Berowra were 1/46, we had a wet ball, and we all needed some of Jack’s concrete kool-aid to fight our way out of this one.

After the break, Feathers brought the crowd to their feet with 2 screamers of catches at first slip, off Sach & Uncle Dinesh (of the Cyril-Lanki tribe). Eric did his best Imodium impression & dried up the runs at the other end with a spell of 0/3 off 11 overs. This saw us have Berowra 3/88 at tea, which was a little precarious.

Naughty Nathan managed to prise out a surprising (but plumb) LBW decision soon after, but at 4/115, we needed someone to stamp themselves on this game. Enter Naughty’s cousin, Pesky Pat who charged in with a barrage of his finest chin-music (read ‘short shit’). With the soft wet ball, the tactics worked a treat as we took regular wickets to dismiss Berowra for 145 – Pat finishing with his 2nd 5-fa for the year. Naughty & Lach finished with a further wicket each, and we felt pretty good about ourselves as we trudged off the field…. That is all of us, except the 1 or 2 certain opening batsmen who had a nasty 9 overs to face in the gloom.

As it started to drizzle in the 4th over, Umpire Dinesh, decided it would be a good idea to incite some Berowra anger by turning down an LBW appeal whilst also raising his index finger.

We’ll have to check the rulebook on this one, but presumably a ‘sod off Berowra – he hit the cover off the ball’ supersedes a simultaneous random pointing to a low flying bird. I’m on Dinesh’s side, so much so, that to save him from a lynching, decided to call stumps as the drizzle got heavier.

Suffice to say he won’t be umpiring next week unless we’re 9-down, & less than 10 runs to get – then we’ll throw him to the wolves.

D1 Grade

WPHC Blue (Agniva) 1/17 Vs Thornleigh

In a toss that Agni probably regretted more than his last haircut, WPHCCC found themselves batting first against Thornleigh in a match that had more plot twists than a soap opera. Thornleigh’s opening bowler, was swinging the ball around like a kid on a playground, and Praneel succumbed to his delivery with the finesse of a cat avoiding a bath – faintest of edges straight to the wicketkeeper.

Laksha and Anubhav then decided they were going to show more defence than a medieval castle. Thornleigh’s bowlers were probably considering taking up knitting to pass the time. However, just when the match was turning into a riveting game of “How long can we block before it gets awkward?” the rain decided to join the party.

After only 8 overs, the umpires, feeling wetter than a fish at a water park, ushered everyone off the field. The rain danced around like it had a backstage pass to a rock concert, forcing an unscheduled intermission.

As the players huddled under cover, the Thornleigh captain, looking more meteorologist than cricketer, decided that with the forecast and ground conditions resembling a soggy sponge cake, it was time to throw in the towel. Agni and Thornleigh’s captain then engaged in what can only be described as a negotiation more diplomatic than a UN summit, agreeing to call off the day’s play.

And so, WPHCCC and Thornleigh left the field with the wisdom that sometimes cricket matches are like a good joke – timing is everything, and in this case, the rain had the last laugh.

Also attaching some team photos – first one is before the game at Campbell Park. Second one is a team lunch at one of our player’s (Pritam) newly opened Mexican restaurant – Saborito in Pennant Hills.

John Hayne Cup – Match Reports

Round 1

(Saturday 2nd March 2024)

WPHC C2 212 (includes +33 ranking points) defeated Thornleigh (C1 Grade) 99

West Pennos streak of winning the toss, batting first and rolling the opposition came to an end with Marty losing the toss which resulted in us bowling first in the drizzle.

Filling in for the boys today were 3 boys from C4s: Hiresh, Ratul and Mukund. Vris and Mat opened up and bowled rather well with a soapy ball. Mat took a wicket with a nice caught and bowled to get the boys started. Craig bowled some seamers and was good enough to took a pole.

Marty had decided to bring on the spinners early, which definitely helped West Penno.

First was Ratul (Michael Clarke) who took a crucial wicket with a slider that just skidded on. Sohan also found his rhythm and took the pole of another Thornleigh batter whose head so high he was counting the clouds. With not many pace options for Marty, we decided to continue with spin. The Goat joined in after flying out from New Zealand and picked up a 4 fer for West Penno which included an amazing assist by Marty at first slip who took a reflex catch.

Terrific bowling from the boys in wet conditions resulted in Thornleigh being bowled out in 24 overs for 99. Top Bowlers were:

  • Sohan 3/13
  • 🐐 4/22
  • Craig 1/ 10
  • Ratul 1/14
  • Mat 1/11

Catches: Craig, James, Bronson and a Marty special

Mat and Hiresh opened up, although a length ball outside off stump ended up with Hiresh nicking off. Sohan didn’t trouble the scorers at all as departed quicker than he came in, guiding the ball straight to 2nd slip for a golden. Bronson came in and was looking good although a ball that just left him a touch was enough to beat his defence. The boys were in real trouble at 3/6. Next was Marty who was toiling away and finding the gaps although he nicked off a full ball to first slip. Runs were flowing with the help of Mat who made 36 before finding cow corner.

The Goat was looking good after his knock of 41 in the morning for the Aussies, although a straight ball wrapped him on the pads on 6.

Even after passing the score, the boys continue batting to improve the margin. James played beautifully for his 30 as well as Mukund who played exceptionally despite his tendency to go for the reverse sweep every second ball. Mukund ended up on 42 before being given lbw. Craig after not playing a match in nearly 11 years went in and played a beautiful cameo of 27 from 11 balls to help West Penno finish on 179 plus 33 for ranking points (212).

Top Scorers were:

  • Mat 36
  • James 30
  • Mukund 42
  • Craig 27

Good Win against last year’s C2 premiers in tough conditions, setup by some good bowling and fielding.

WPHC D2 Vs St Ives D1

Results not to hand

WPHC C3 Vs Kissing Point C4

Results not to hand.

WPHC C4 Vs Bye