After a long hiatus, your drunken authors are back for Australia Day! It’s a day synonymous with cricket, and A2, D1 and D2 will take to the field, to give the WPHC cricket community an excuse to get drunk and watch cricket, without needing to watch the lower class Test team in action.

Understandably, the ICC have changed the rules for the day, and it’s important that our readers are across these. Please find the below changes which were released to the universe today:

• Any batsman who comes out without gloves (known as the ‘Burnsie’), who bats with 1 hand and holds a tinnie with the other, has their runs doubled.
• Any player who fields at point, MUST be turning snags on the barbie.
• Every catch taken on the legside, must be done so with 1 hand, and in a kiddy pool. Failure to do so will incur a no ball and free hit.
• Any player found drinking light beer before going into bat will be given out ‘timed out’. It’s anticipated that the time out will allow for these ‘men’ to go to the bottlo and buy proper beer.
• At the toss, captains can nominate 1 rule – either electric wickie or 6 and out for the Opposition. Choose wisely my friends.
• If a player gets out first ball, should they neck a stubby within 5 seconds, they remain in.
• The bowling team can choose a 1 over power play, whereby they can use a taped up tennis ball. Giddy up.
• The team who brings the best looking cheerleaders (female to make it clear Phil Wurth), receives 5 runs for every 4 hit.

Aussie Aussie Aussie…. West Penno!