Final Points Table (as at Round 14)

A Grade (Cam) – 2^nd (75 points)

A2 Grade (Campbell) – 3^rd (33 points)

B1 Red (Birdcage) – 4^th (60 points)

B1 Blue (Shomik) – 6^th (39 points)

B2 (Todd) – 1^st (63 points)

C1 (Kapil) – 5^th (50 points)

C2 Red (Indranil) – 5^th (45 points)

C2 Blue (Rob) – 6^th (43 points)

C3 Red (Cameron) – 3^rd (54points)

C3 Blue (Tarun) – 6^th (40 points)

C4 (Hiresh) – 6^th (44 points)

D1 Red (Diggers) – 5^th (51 points)

D1 Blue (Arun) – 9^th (36 points)

D2 (Ross S) – 4^th (61 points)

Match Reports – Semi Finals (Day 2)

A1 Grade

WPHC (Cam) (2^nd) 158 & 2/50 defeated outright Berowra White (3^rd) 81 & 127

Fans. Berowra. Loyal readers. Lend Gandis your large ears. For the proclamation is clear, YOUR Wphcccccc A1 side are heading to another Grand Final. Sit back and enjoy this recap of our only easy Semi Final victory in the last decade.

Here was the 4-1-1 at the start of the day’s play. We needed 12 runs and we had two wickets to get them. Nerves rattled through the camp, none more-so than on the shoulders of Captain Krang, who PACED the Parklands carpark at 10.15, wondering why on earth there was only him, Meiks and Tom Hando present at the ground.

Krang has specifically asked for everyone to be there at 10am sharp. Not even the batsman in at the crease took notice. Everyone rocked up in spurts between 10.15-10.35. Many were around the corner at Jim and Harry’s. Are you Jim or Harry? For the record, I am Jim.

As I arrived, I astutely noted another test cricket warmup taking place from Berowra. I noticed the pacing skipper, I asked Krang how he was feeling. “Petrified” was the response. Just what we need to hear from one our potential batsman, tasked with steering us home.

The new man to the crease and probably the best number 10 in the competition, Mohammed Assman arrived at the ground with heavy strapping to his hamstring. He had torn it during the week cycling at the gym. Krang heart rate accelerated just a little higher.

Whilst 11 out of the 12 players arrived at the ground on time, one man was very late. Billy Gaunt, fresh off his night out with some of the lower graders, waltzed to the ground severely hungover. Made worse, Billy’s parents, Tony and Alaw beat him to the ground – they were already set up with deck chairs and all ready to watch their son. Tony asked but Billy stalled – he still refused to give his father back his $50 Singaporean Dollars.

The rest of us who were already out decided to head onto the ground pre match and ply the tennis ball game, hitting catches off a tennis racquet with a tennis ball. It’s become our warmup of choice for many a season now. Everyone participated, including Club legend Steve Quanborough who I believe caught a bus once with Gandis.

To the embarrassment of the A1 players, the elimination final ended with 6 consecutive dropped catches, leaving one man standing – Steve Quanbororhrorh. It was the perfect Steven Bradbury victory, he waited for all of us to falter. And falter we did.

Anyway the cricket was about to start so many of the playing group scattered so we didn’t have to score. Sav and Assman were in, our leading two run scorers for the season. 12 runs is a lot though, Berowra needed a good start. Assman on strike. First ball is a rank full toss, dispatched to the fine leg boundary for 4. 5 runs off the first ball.

And from there, Assman and Sav played a measured, controlled innings to get us home for a first innings victory. They doubled down and accelerated after the win, Sav especially calm with his brilliant shot-making around the ground. Assman was good too, especially considering he was on one leg. His front foot defence was solid, and he was timing to ball beautifully. When Sav was dismissed for 80, we had a lead of about 75.

Captain Krang came in but left Assman stranded, caught in the Lichaaa gully for a duck. Berowra decided to bat again and post a score quickly.

And when I mean quickly, I mean literally in 10 overs. There was 70 overs left in the day, but they wanted to get the deficit, and post a lead, in literally 10 overs. I’ve never seen short sided madness like it in my illustrious, decorated career. Big Bad Bill Fiedler ran out his partner in the second over, the holed out himself on the stroke of lunch for not many. As we headed to the luncheon interval, Berowra were 2/19.

And what a lunch it was. Life legends Phil and Mary Hando put on a BBQ spread unrivalled and it just hit the spot perfectly. We have some fans in our database, but none are more special than Phil and Mary Hando. We have decided to name this year’s Players Player award, the Phil and Mary Hando Trustee Medal, in honour of our season ticket holders. What a family.

After lunch, Berowra showed a pulse with Adam West coming out as a man on a mission. Lichaaa especially was dispatched to all parts of the ground in a wonderful display of batting by the underdogs, who were showing grit beyond our expectations. But the wickets were tumbling at the other end, mainly by run outs. Sav, Gas, Preeds and Lichaaa all involved in runouts throughout the innings.

Whilst there were positives with the runouts, there was obvious negatives in other areas of the fielding. Captain Krang left boiling at Wu for his lack of concentration and poor diving to cut off balls off his bowling. He decided to sub Wu off for Assman, who was still on one leg, in a desperate attempt to permanently hide him. Wu admitted fault originally, then blamed Krang for poor bowing. He reached to his pocket, pulled out the vape he had smuggled on the field, and puffed away.

Pick of the bowling was Krang and Gandis – both of which picked up a couple of wickets each to falter the Berowra charge. Both were very good in the field as well. Berowra had given us a total to chase though. 46 to win and 46 overs to get them.

Preeds and Mao opened us up and it looked like we were going to get the runs 0 down. But this is us remember. Mao was first to go, caught sharply in the gully. His dummy spit in the rooms caught Krang off guard, who was packing up his gear for the day. Preeds went moments later and we were 2/19. Assman and Billy went to the wicket.

Assman had batted so well this morning but his innings this afternoon was something special. 10 balls for 31 runs including 3 massive 6s, he ended all hope for the visitors in a heartbeat. He closed the game with the biggest 6 of the match, hit halfway to the M1 on Parklands oval. It was very entertaining to watch for all, except the executives of LichaaBet. LichaaaBet will pay Gandis using our corporate Diners Club card.

A great win against Berowra and we now look forward to next week, where we play Berowra and our home ground Berowra in the grand final. We would love to see you there.

Special thanks to Hollywood, Gus and Quan for coming out to watch. And for the WAGS and Jamakin for coming too. GoodBAI

A2 Grade

WPHC (Campbell) (3^rd) 154 defeated Glenorie (4^th) 114 & 2/70

Let me tell you this story of this team.

The unwillingness of other Clubs to play A1’s meant A2s were asked to spend the first half of the season playing all the A Grade teams. While this was intended as a way to make for a “better competition”, sometimes it looked like a cow offered up better competition in an abattoir.

We were bowled out for 60. TWICE. We had 300 put on us. TWICE. But did we wilt under such pressure? No, we galvanised. Because pressure makes diamonds.

With two regular season games to go, our season looked dashed. We needed to win both and have results go our way.

This team would not lay down. With our ears still ringing from the beatings we copped earlier in the season, we fought on.

The towel would not be thrown in. Lack of talent wouldn’t stop us. Syrian minefields disguised as Glade pitches wouldn’t stop us.

We’ve dragged ourselves off the canvas, down but not out, and to a Grand Final we go.

In today’s proceedings, 42 from Tanay and 40 from Harry got us to the first innings victory we needed. We then played on. Why not I suppose. It rained. We still played on. It stopped raining. Still we played on. Everyone eventually gave up. We went home.

A Grand Final awaits.

Congratulations and good luck to all the other WPH teams in Grand Finals. Should you win, every single team member can count on a beer at the Sporto on Sunday shouted by A2 captain Campbell Wallace.

B1 Grade

WPHC Red (Birdcage) (4^th) 104 lost to Normanhurst (1^st) 266

Spoiler alert – I regret to inform our readers that this will be the final match report for the 2022/23 season. We couldn’t get it done today against a stalwart Normanhurst side who were intent on batting for as long as possible for the second game running.

After dropping 5 catches all of Nick ‘why am I playing with these spastics’ Starr last week we were intent on going out with intensity and cleaning up the Normanhurst tail. Bob ‘couldn’t catch covid in Wuhan, China’ Knapman then dropped a sitter of the Star man’s bowling.

Making that 6 drop catches off his bowling in an innings. This is the most drop catches off a single bowler in the history of cricket. (Source Ross Anderson)

The Starman then took matters into his own hands by bowling at the stumps, something he should have done weeks ago. We cleaned up the tail and were set 260 odd to chase off 48 overs. It would take a divine intervention for us to win this game. Unfortunately there is no god and we couldn’t get there.

Nonetheless we had a great season and managed to make the worst sport in the entire world somewhat great.

Shout out to Adam ‘Mayo’ Van Saarloos for single handedly losing us this game. The fact that we are not playing next week is a testament to how shit Adam is.

See you next season and thanks for following our journey.

Match Highlights

• Nick Duck recorded his 5^th duck of the season and is now legally changing his name to Nick ‘Ton’ stay tuned for next season
• Camos broke his ankle the idiot
• Brent is still special
• Cage is still a dickhead
• We still haven’t learnt how to field

B2 Grade

WPHC (Todd) (1^st) 5/245 drew with Vs Sydney Lions (4^th) – DNB

We would return to Greenway after a very solid Day 1 performance. The plan from the Skipper was very simple: just bat and bat and then bat some more!

Jude and Willy would return to the crease and would continue exactly where they left off and looked comfortable from ball one. They’d both trod off at drinks, without a wicket lost and we’d be 3fa at 2:15pm on Day 2 and starting to get comfy in our seats.

Jude would fall agonisingly short of a 50 yet again (he’s third dismal of the year on 45+) getting out to a rank shirt ball outside off which he too edged out to point.

Christopher Williamson would power on as only a Willy could and only a Christopher would. He’d look at home being sledged by the opposition but yet again found an admirer in the Lions wicket keeper – watch out Alexa!

Xander would enter and be inspired by Willy’s innings, producing his best knock of the season, batting with great intent putting away the rubbish and finding the ropes of the long straight Greenway boundaries. Xander who’d entered the crease 40+ over after Willy would begin to race Willy towards 50, however would be robbed of a 50, falling short by 2 runs, out caught flush off the middle of the pad. A gutting end to a brilliant knock which secured us a GF birth.

Willy would remain unscathed at the end of the day bringing up his 50 off 90 overs, a semi-final knock for the ages, which was well recognised not only by the Lions wicket keeper who I believe wished we hadn’t shaken hands at 5pm drinks as he felt he was robbed of looking at Willy’s magnificent ass for another hour of his life, but also by Cam and his A graders who gave him a well-deserved recognition at the club. How many overs did he face again?

A superb effort to finish 5/245 at 5pm on Day 2. With all our batsmen: Volc, Connor, Willy, Jude and Xander batting for 2+ hours each, and giving us a GF birth.

C3 Grade

WPHC Red (Cameron) (3^rd) 9/144 defeated Kissing Point (2^nd) 141

What an extraordinary game of cricket. The C3 Red team came to the ground confident of a victory today chasing 142 to win on a smallish Mimosa Oval.

Our batting was not up to scratch and our opposition bowlers dominated the top order. WPH were 4/25 in the 23^rd over and whilst there was still plenty of time and overs to get the runs, we were also confident that we had the batsmen to get us over the line.

We were tracking slowly until Brent and Chetan came together and hit 30 runs in 2 overs that really put us back in the frame before losing these two guys when the score was on 80.

We ended up being 9/92 in the 50^th over and with us needing 50 to win of 20 overs we were still confident that we were a chance but the task would be difficult without any remaining wickets up our sleeve.

However, the steely determination from Vikas (47 no) and Brijesh (11 no) carried us in the last hour to get the win with 5 overs to spare. It was an amazing 50+ last wicket partnership that gave no chances and the will to win was outstanding.

I have always maintained we have the team that could go all the way and today proved that we have players that are very competitive and determined to finish a job in difficult circumstances.

On to the GF next week were our top six batsmen must re-group and set a benchmark so these nail biting finishes do not occur. Well done.

D2 Grade

WPHC (Ross S) (4^th) 104 lost to Beecroft (1^st) 239

After fielding for 75 overs on week 1, with Beecroft 6/165, we were determined to get the 4 wickets as soon as possible so our chase could begin.

Some really good bowling from Ram and Mridal generated a few early chances, but our fielding let us down. Beecroft just determined to grind us down. First drinks break, 20 overs bowled and only 25 runs scored, no wickets…..Beecroft 6/191…with no intention to let us bat…..

After the break good bowling from all our bowlers, with the breakthrough finally coming in the 101st over, a beautiful in swinging deliver from Gihan sent middle stump cartwheeling….7/211…..Another annoying partnership soaking up overs we could until a beautiful Yorker from Sach….8/233 after 111.

Next over a beautifully flighted ball from Jake and a clinical stumping from Ray saw the 9^th wicket fall… Finally, another beautiful Yorker from Sach, saw Beecroft dismissed 10 minutes before the tea break….all out 239 off a mammoth 114 overs. I’m really proud of the way the guys bowled, never giving up…across the two days wicket takers, Ram 36 overs 1/36, Mridal 33 overs 2/44, Henry 17 overs 1/23, Gihan 12 overs 1/24, Sach 9 overs 2/10, Jake 4 overs 2/24…. Roger and Muthindra went wicket-less, with 20 overs between them for just 51 runs….

So, the ea break taken and we have a minimum of 31 overs to get 240 runs….no easy effort given 2 of the Beecroft bowlers have taken over 65 wickets between them.

With a fast start needed Ray and Mridal set about the job playing beautifully, no chances and great running between wickets….13 overs down and 60 on the board…..disaster then struck with Ray being given run out for a well made 28……then within the space of 3 overs a rush of blood, 3 ducks, then Mridal caught for a well-made 24……from 0/60 suddenly 5/62…..

Gihan and Jake then steadied the ship, before Gihan (16) missed a straight one as he looked to get the runs flowing . Jake and Ross then put on a few more before Jake (12) was well caught hitting out….7/92, similarly Ross and Henry were out doing the same. Final wicket fell at the 28 over mark. All out just before 6pm for 104…..

Disappointing we could not get through to the Grand final, but with a number of the team playing their first year in seniors, playing a hard semi gives a great understanding of what is required in the future…

The guys played all season with great humility, sportsmanship and super efforts. We did only end up losing 4 games so we did play well most of the season. In first place at the ½ way mark, we lost our way just before the Christmas break and did not play to our potential, in the 1 day games, which in the end just put us into 4^th place.

John Hayne Cup

Round 2

WPHCCC 8/148 lost to Berowra 3/149

Last match of the season. And we were happy to be playing out there even though it was a hot day. In the end we came second as Berowra chased down total in 25 overs.

Highlight of our batting innings was a first fifty for young Bronson Marsden who opened the innings and was 52 not out when he had to retire not out after reaching his maiden fifty. Well done!

Hope to see boys coming back to play next season. Good luck to teams playing grand finals next weekend!