Bumpty Report - Ross Anderson's 500th Innings

Bumpty Report authors have been made aware of one of the finest milestones in our club’s history. The great Ross Anderson last Saturday batted in his 500th innings, which scientists say makes him 128 years old.

Ross walked out to bat in his 500th innings through a large banner (no, it wasn’t Michael), with wife, Denise waving the pom poms, and a large crowd of family and friends there in support. Unlike Sir Don, who teared up so much in his last innings, that he couldn’t see the ball, Ross elegantly played a French cut to fine leg for 1, to get off the mark first ball.

Ross compiled a steady 26, before hitting a slow full toss onto his stumps. His teammates gave him a standing ovation as he walked off the field, with an unnamed teammate then yelling out, “$2 Out to a bunga!”

There have been many highlights for Ross, since his first of 500 innings back in season 1922/23.

• Ross has scored 7,894 runs in his career. 3rd in line is Greg Fiedler, on 6,363. As Greg now plays for Berowra, his records have appropriately been wiped.
• His batting average is 17.9. Only about 70 runs an innings behind Denise. Actually, if Denise had batted 500 innings, she would have notched up 40,000 runs. Ross needs to up his game.
• Highest score of 131* in B1, in 1992/93. Upon reviewing the scorebook of this game, it showed that this was the first time WPHC had 2 teams play each other in this Grade. The opening bowling attack of Trevor Ward and a young, sprightly Andrew Fiedler hardly terrorised a batting line up that season. Ross’ 131* was actually the lowest score against this team that season.
• Ross has scored a total of 3 T20 runs. That’s about the same as what Chris Gayle scores off each ball.
• He has taken 138 wickets, which sadly means that 138 blokes didn’t pick his wrong ‘un. As long as there were 138 sets of appropriate fines implemented, these authors can rest more comfortably.
• My Cricket doesn’t have stats far enough back for ducks, but an unnamed teammate in 1983/84 said that Ross’ nickname for a few years was Olympic Rings….

After Ross’ record breaking innings, Bumpty Report reporters interviewed some of the crowd.

Wife, Denise, appeared in a hurry. “Thank God he got out. John is about to hit his first 2nd Grade ton for ND’s, and I’m stuck watching an old bloke nurdle his way to 26. I’m outta here. Love you darl!”

Ross’ proud parents, Angry Anderson and Pamela Anderson embraced their son. “As a mum, all you want to do is watch your son succeed,” said Pamela. “Well it’s too late for that, but Denise and the kids are bloody good.”

Finally, C2 captain, Steve ‘Buzz’ Burrows, was less impressed. “We needed to push for quick runs. Ross’ 26 took 4 hours. He was batting for the red ink. It’s great to be interviewed though. Am I on tv?”

The Bumpty Report would like to congratulate West Penno’s favourite son on his 500*. It’s a story of strength, courage and ability. That’s just his hip replacement. Well done to a true champion!